Stupid, Stupid Man
by theywillneverknow
Summary: One-shot about the time Lily had to rescue James and, as usual, he is a pain about the whole thing. T - one use of strong language


**Title: ********Stupid, Stupid Man****  
****Author:****firstflier**  
**Rating: **Adult concepts but not explicit (PG-13)  
**Characters/Pairing: **James/Lily  
**Disclaimer: **Not mine. Kthnxbye.  
**Summary: **One-shot with inspiration from Frou Frou's 'Shh'. Lily has a mission and this time? Well, let's just say it's personal.  
**Author's Note: **This is more angsty than I thought it was going to be – my apologies for that. Happy fics should be on the horizon soon. =]

Stupid, Stupid Man

There is no air in her lungs. She can't breathe properly but she pushes past the agonising pain and runs faster through the trees, trying to avoid the low hanging branches. The wind and rain whip harshly at her face and she tries her best to ignore it. She snags her unbound hair on some of the branches but keeps moving, despite the pain that shoots across her skull. Her mission is not merely business as usual – this is personal and she needs to get there in time. She cannot be late. Not even by a minute. She cannot fail.

Lily Evans will not fail because she loves this stupid, stupid man.

Tears blur her vision as she urges her legs to move faster, take her closer to her destination. In the dark, her eyes finally fall upon the wooden, worn down hut she has been looking for. A relieved sob wracks her body and she all but stumbles the rest of the way to the safe house. She sends her patronus, weak as it is, to the house so that the occupant knows it is her and does not need to panic. She falls heavily against the door and bangs like a woman possessed, rain dripping down her neck as panic grips her. Why hasn't he answered yet?! There should be a man inside, there should be a man who recognises her patronus, there should be a man opening the damn door. There is no movement and real fear clutches at the corner of her mind.

"It's Lily! Open up!" There is still no movement and Lily gets frantic. The wind tugs at her cloak and the rain beats down harder on her face, hair plastered to her head in an uncomfortable way. "SHERBERT FREAKING LEMONS!" She all but screams the Order password and jumps slightly when the door is flung open and two hands roughly pull her inside by the lapels. The hut is dark and she knows he hasn't lit the lights because he wants to draw as little attention to this hut as he can but she can see him easily in the dark and she drinks him in greedily. From his messy, dark hair to his confused eyes shadowed by his glasses, to his jaw line and finally his hands which hold her arms in a tight grip. He gives her the strangest look tinged with suspicion but seems satisfied with whatever he finds.

"Lily? What are you doing here?"

"We need to go, James."

She pulls out of his grasp, trying to ignore the shivering that the cold rain has brought on. He reaches for her then to turn her with a frown marring his handsome features and she glances over his shoulder to see the door hanging open, swinging in the wind.

"Quick, shut the door and don't..." There is a bang. "Slam it."

"What are you doing here, Lily?" His tone is not harsh but she hates that she can't see his dark, expressive eyes to know what he is thinking.

"I came to see you. Dumbledore told me the location of your safe house."

"Ah, better make the most of this alone time then, eh?" His tone is light, lilting, joking even and she is slightly stunned.

She sighs but he is marching straight back to her. There is a fire in his eyes and she knows what is coming. She holds up her hand, pressed now against his chest, to ward off his amorous greeting but her protest is feeble and he crushes their lips together, drawing her closer to him using the hand, the one that was meant to push him away, as leverage. She sinks easily into the decadence of kissing her husband. She hates herself for this brief weakness; this is not what she came here for. His hands wind through her tangled locks and his warmth seeps into her very bones. She shivers and is abruptly reminded of her task and why she has travelled all this way in the dark to find him. She pulls away with an audible pop and he stumbles slightly by the sudden withdrawal.

"Darling, what are you doing?" He reaches out for her again but she dances out of his reach. What the hell does he think she is doing arriving in the middle of the night?! She's bloody rescuing him is what she's doing. He's grabbed her arm again, intent on finishing what they started, no doubt. They haven't seen each other for 4 days and they are newlyweds after all. She frowns but it is not harsh.

"Stop tugging on me, James." His hand stops pulling on her robe but he does not release her. "We have to go, we don't have time for this. Quickly now." She reaches for his robe and pulls completely from his grip. She takes the heavy cloak and flings it at him while she peers out the windows and into the dark wood beyond. She turns quickly at his chuckle.

"Lil, what are you talking about? Dumbledore said to stay here until he personally came and got me. And he's sent you which must mean there isn't any danger to us. It could be a second honeymoon for us." His grin is charming and she wants to smack it off his face. He called her crazy once when she did that at school and she wonders now who is the crazy one. He is trying to make out with her whilst she is trying to save his life.

"Later okay." She turns back to the window, careful to peek from behind the closed curtains rather than show her face in the glass. He has snuck up on her and wraps her in his embrace again. She tries to bat him away but he is persistent, always has been, and he nibbles on her ear before whispering.

"Give me an hour. And I'll make your dreams a reality."

She shoves him away from her bodily, breathing heavily and flushed red. Damn him. He is confused at her reaction and she resists the urge to stupefy him in order to get him out of there.

"Lily. Seriously what are you-"

"Shh! Did you hear that?" She hisses at him as she strains to hear above the roaring wind outside. Had a twig snapped? He looks at her like she's mad. She can understand the feeling. He trusts Dumbledore to hell and back. Would gladly die for the man or even just for the man's name. She knows this. She understands this. She lives this. But his instincts should be kicking in about now. He should still be alert and wary and on guard. She knows that seeing her has addled his mind and curses herself for not sending another member of the Order instead but there had been no time. She would be the same if the tables were turned. Maybe. Probably not. But James has always been a law unto himself. The point is that James trusts Dumbledore to the tenth degree – no buts, ifs or hesitation in his mind. She can see though, as they stare at each other in the darkness, awareness is creeping back. James is taking off the blinkers and is trusting his gut. The transformation is incredible. He indicates with his hands that they should crouch down on the floor and she obliges slowly. Not too quickly. No sudden movements. She slowly crawls towards the door and tries to peer out through a crack in the wall. James has followed her.

"Keep your head down." She speaks low and slow. She does not want to alert any predators that are lurking out there. His breath fans across her cheek and is hot in her ear as she strains her eyes looking at nothing.

"We are in one of Dumbledore's safe houses. I think you might be being paranoid, Lil."

She wants to scream and shout and swear and do all kinds of things that she knows will only alert the Death Eaters that are out there. But she doesn't. Because then they would both be dead. And Merlin knows she loves this stupid, stupid man far too much to do a thing like that.

"There is a spy in the Order." She waits for that to sink in. She doesn't think it ever will. Not with James who believes in trust and honesty and friendship. Not with James who is a kind, good man. Even if she is his wife he won't believe her until he hears it from Sirius or Remus or Dumbledore or all three. She knows this, accepts it, loves him in spite of this. "They betrayed your coordinates. No one knows how or why or who. But I know that they have. And we need to get out of here before they kill us both."

They both know apparition is out of the question because Dumbledore would not be foolish enough to put a safe house in an apparition zone. They need to get out the old fashioned muggle way. So it's a good job they can both sprint like there is no tomorrow.

"I know they're out there somewhere. Where the hell are they?" Lily is mumbling, more to herself than James and he runs a hand through his hair before determination sets in.

"Well, screw this. I'm not waiting for them to surround us. On the count of three, yeah?" He feels her nod twice against his chest and his breath catches for a second before he composes himself. "Right. One, two!" They both charge on 'two' at the door and sprint, heads down towards the trees, the path which Lily took earlier lost now to the wind and the elements that have viciously covered her tracks. They run blindly into the abyss and Lily can feel her heart pounding against her rib cage in a desperate, adrenalin fuelled bid to stay the hell alive. They both slow down several, long minutes later and eventually come to a stop on the ground, lying behind a fallen tree trunk and gasping for air.

"Bugger." James curses beside her. Lily is immediately frantic.

"What? What is it?"

"Left my two-way mirror back in the hut." He glances over the tree trunk and moves to stand. Lily's hand forces him back into the mud.

"What are you doing?!" She hisses at him, eyes narrowed dangerously.

"I'm going back for it." He states, as though this is the most natural assumption in the world.

"Leave it. I'll not go back for that sodding thing! We're not safe yet." She watches James with hard, determined eyes.

"Look. Love." He is patronising her and her hackles are up, instantly. "Maybe you got your information wrong. There is no one out here. Mistakes are made, yeah? It's easy to do in times like these. Better to be paranoid than too easy going. Remus and Sirius always say..."

"Oh what the fuck do they know?!" Her outburst clearly surprises him because his eyebrows nearly disappear under his mop of hair. "Look. I know what I saw and I know what I know. They are out here somewhere and if we don't shut up they are going to kill us. I _know _that it's real, okay?" There is another twig snapping nearby and they instantly sink back into the mud, pressing their bodies further into the ground. There are footsteps nearby and a muffled yell as someone, far in the distance sees the moonlight reflect off James' glasses. Lily looks once at James, a look of understanding before they both scramble to their feet.

"Showtime."

"I do wish you wouldn't say that every time a fight happens."

Lily shrugs and resists the urge to tell him that making light of it is the only thing that keeps her sane. That, honestly? If she couldn't pretend that she were in some silly blockbuster action movie she would be physically sick at some of the things she has done. Some of the things she has _had _to do. The Death Eaters are running at them both now; James' glasses and Lily's hair are beacons in the darkness.

James is the first to fire a spell and he knocks one Death Eater into the sky before he lands with a sickening crunch. Lily is not far behind and takes out two with a curse she is sure she just made up on the spot. It has the desired effect so she's not too worried about what it is. She dodges a green spell that comes dangerous close to her neck and wonders absently whether that was the killing curse. More Death Eaters swarm from the trees like insects erupting from a nest. She thinks there are at least 8 maybe 9 now. This is bad. There are only two of them and she is absolutely knackered. She takes down a female with long hair the muggle way; she claws at her hair and manages a sharp kick in the shins so that she collapses to her knees. From there, Lily casts a stupefy curse and the woman is helpless, frozen solid. And if Lily were any less of a decent person she would kick her while she was down but she doesn't. She moves on to the next son of a bitch she has to take down. She looks to James and he has managed to disperse a few Death Eaters just because of the pile of three or four bodies at his feet that have all been knocked unconscious. At least, she thinks they are unconscious. They may be dead. And, if she's honest, she hopes they are because that is four less crazy bastards in the world. Four less men trying to kill innocent women and children and men every single day of the week.

James whirls around, no more enemies near him and his eyes widen momentarily as he stares past Lily at the shadowed man that has his wand aimed right at Lily's back. James is not quick enough and a curse is cast, thank God it is not Avada Kedavra, and Lily crumbles to the floor. The man disappears before James can wreak his revenge and he is left to fall to his knees and cradle the woman he loves as her life seeps from her.

"Lily just hold on. It's going to be okay. I'm going to get you out of here. I promise." The tears are streaming down his face as he watches her gulp for air (what had she even been hit with?!) and he can barely conjure up a corporeal patronus such is his misery, but he manages to and his stag bounds off to find Dumbledore or someone, anyone. He drags her into his lap and rocks her as she drifts aimlessly.

She can feel him, feel his warmth, feel his love. It is some tangible thing and she knows that he has loved her like no one else ever has or will again. But that is all. She cannot feel her fingers or her toes or her limbs. If this is the end for her she will be sad for him; sad that she never gave him the life he wanted, sad that she did not bear his children but, in a selfish way, she will be glad for herself. Because this ending, this tragic, horrible ending only serves to prove how much she loved that stupid, stupid man. She has proven worthy of a love like his. Her energy is drained and she cannot find the willpower to fight what is overtaking her body. It is so much easier and much less painful to simply let go.

It is only when she hears his choked, desperate 'don't leave me, don't leave me' that she really fights to hold on because she never wants to hurt James and if pushing past this pain is what will make him happy she will do it gladly. She manages to raise her hand and place it on his in a feeble gesture of comfort. He presses it to his cheek and his mouth where he drops a kiss.

"I love you. So, so much." Her voice is weak to her own ears but she knows he heard her. She tries to chuckle but she coughs up blood instead with an oozing, thick gurgle. "Some knight in shining armour I turned out to be, huh?" He gives her a watery smile and, although her vision is blurring, she is grateful for the effort. "I feel...good. Everywhere." She is not feeling cold like she thought she would. She is deliciously light and she decides that, all things considered, this is not a particularly unpleasant way to die. "I love you, Mr Potter."

"I love you more, Mrs Potter."

His broken smile is the last thing she sees before she is robbed of everything but the darkness.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Pain. The first thing she is aware of. Acute, sharp, blinding pain that throbs heavily in her chest and lets her know that, despite all odds, she is alive. She blinks against the bright light, the strength of it bringing tears to her eyes. When her eyes adjust she is accosted with the vision of a dishevelled James Potter slumped in a hospital chair, dozing lightly with a trail of drool leaking from the corner of his mouth. The sight is enough to make her smile. She is glad for the pain; she is glad to be alive. She could not live with herself if she were to leave him. The irony in this is not lost on her and she emits a weak laugh. Enough to have her coughing again and to wake James with a start. He is instantly beside her and she can see in his eyes that he wants to crush her to him, wants to devour her whole, wants to love her enough for a lifetime.

"I love you Mr Potter." Her throat is scratchy with disuse but she doesn't care because his smile this time is blinding and her heart beats wildly at the mere sight of it.

"I love you more, Mrs Potter."

Yes. She is glad to be alive and she loves that stupid, stupid man to death and back.

~*~End~*~


End file.
